As if it were yesterday I remember a particular evening from my past life before massage therapy and fitness, when I was a desk worker. On this evening I was working in a call center, seated at a large desk that was separated so that it had four workstations of which only one sat empty. To my right sat my friend and colleague who happened to be a beautiful young woman of petite stature. Across the table from her sat another, much larger woman. At some point in the evening the conversation turned to a discussion about food and bodies. The larger woman said to the smaller woman, “You are so lucky to have the body you do.”

I could actually see the confusion and hurt in my friend’s face as she choose not to comment further.

Later that evening my friend and I shared a plate of dark chocolate while we sipped red wine – that was a thing offered at one of our favorite local restaurants, and if I can derail for a moment I’ll make a plea that more restaurants have such options on their menus. I miss those evenings and the plate full of quality dark chocolate! Anyway, we went on to discuss the comment. She explained, “I hate it so much when people credit luck for my body. I work hard to maintain the body I want. I fight the urges to eat crap, and like everyone else, I have a lot of cravings for a lot of junky things. I workout. I move with the intention of staying healthy. It takes choices that require effort. A lot of effort. It is not luck.”

She was right. I remember this often, especially as people start to tell me about my luck:

I’m lucky I have the time to go to the gym. I don’t have more time than you. We all have the same 24-hours in a day. I have a busy work schedule and a thousand things I must do each day. I just prioritize how I use my time differently – putting the gym at the top of my list.

I’m lucky that exercise comes easy to me. Ahem – tell me this when I feel like I’m dying on the gym floor after pushing myself to complete and utter failure, knowing that this is the only route for me to take if I want to build my body to be stronger so that next time I do that exact same workout I feel like I’m dying just a little less.  The next time it will come easier – but not without the hard fucking work first. Tell me it’s luck then, and I promise you I will find the strength to get up and throat punch you. Luck has nothing to do with it.

The problem with health and fitness is that while we all want to be healthy, we also all want the cake too. Cake is not healthy, so we’re constantly torn between wanting two completely opposing things. While the reward for instant gratification is strong in most of us, the reward of reaching eventual goals while perhaps is much bigger, it isn’t as alluring as that of the instantaneous variety. It doesn’t shine as much – and besides, instant gratification is easier (in the short term anyway – it’s not easy to look in the mirror and hate what you see).

I realize that I am not lucky to be thin, or fit, or strong. Being thin, fit and strong are things that I have control over.  I just consciously want health more than I want other things.

Countless times throughout the day I ask myself the simple question: “What do I want more?”

What do I want more, to stay in bed for another hour sipping my coffee or to do something today that will grow my muscles stronger for tomorrow? Most days I decide I want the stronger muscles more, so I get up and go to the gym even when I have no motivation and I genuinely don’t want to go.

What do I want more, the cookie or the ability to wake up tomorrow feeling good about my food choices? What do I really want more, the pecan pie or washboard abs? What do I want more, the brownie or the number on the bathroom scale to be pleasing the next time I stand on it?

More often than not, I decide I want whatever the long game options is, more than the short-term gratification. And in realizing this, I choose to get up and go to the gym, or bypass the cookie, pie or brownie – opting to eat fruit instead. Fruit’s not that bad anyway…

And on the days when I decide I want the comfort of my bed or the junky food more, I own that. In fact, I own the shit out of it. Anyone whose ever spent time working out with me will have at some point heard me smile as I recall the tray of Nanaimo Bars I devoured over the weekend that must be fueling that workout, or all the cupcakes I ate before dinner the night before. And I do while genuinely happy – not with guilt or regret.

On days when I decide I want the instant gratification more I stay in bed. I eat the cookie, the pie, the brownie (or all three even) – knowing that in doing so, I’ve chosen that on this day I want those things more than the long term game, and as such there is no surprise at the consequences of my actions. I cannot be upset by them.  I choose then not to step on the scale the next day because it may not please me, and I don’t beat myself up too much, for not being stronger when I head back to the gym after taking extended amounts of time off. There is no guilt and no wavering in my integrity. I am being true to myself. I have consciously decided what I wanted most and then I acted on that decision. There’s nothing wrong with that.

What you want most today, may not be what you want most next Friday night when you’re at the pub with friends who are sharing a big plate of nachos. That’s ok. We are dynamic beings and change is part of human nature. Just don’t kid yourself into thinking you want the weight loss more than you want the nachos, as you’re eating the nachos. If you really want the nachos more, you should have them and you should do so without feeling crappy about it.  You do not need to beat yourself up, or punish yourself for wanting something you consider unhealthy more than the healthy counter, from time to time. We’re humans. It’s what we do. Ask yourself what you want more, the next time you’re presented with your options, act in line with your truth and then move on.

Throw the concept of luck out the window. It doesn’t exist.  I guarantee you that if you ask yourself the question ‘what do I want more’ often, you’ll find that more often than not you TOO want the end game more than instant gratification. You too, will start making healthier choices more often and you’ll do it without unnecessary suffering. And really, that’s all it takes – healthier choices more often.

It’s not luck. It’s strategy.

Ask yourself what you want more. Act on the answer. Be true to you.