You’ve decided to lose weight, let’s say 20 lbs. You read up on how to do it, you select a plan, and you purchase exercise clothing. The first week goes really well and you see the scale dip down a bit. Hurrah!
You decide to keep going with the plan, but at some point during week two you catch yourself sitting on the sofa watching television in your oh-so-clean workout clothing gobbling down a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
Sound familiar?
If so, you’ve fallen into one of the most common weight-loss traps I see: self-sabotage. It’s sneaky. It’s difficult to pin down. It’s confusing.
And it’s completely derailing your weight loss efforts.
Defining Self-Sabotage
According to Psychology Today, “Behavior is said to be sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.”
Uh… what does that really mean? I like to put it a little differently (because I’m the queen of keeping things simple!) and say it and illustrate it like this:
Basically, you know what you need to do but you don’t do it. Or you know what you shouldn’t do, but you do it anyway. That’s the simplest way to understand how self-sabotage works.
And hey – if you’re reading this and thinking, “Oh man, I suck! I do that all the time!” Quit it! Getting down on yourself for self-sabotage isn’t going to help anything.
Are You Really Ready to Stop Self-Sabotage?
You say you want to lose weight but you’re not successfully doing it. Chances are you’re feeling discouraged, ashamed and confused. Perhaps you also have diet fatigue (tried every single diet out there and none of them work?) and you lack confidence because you don’t believe in your ability to lose weight.
Owie. None of us likes those feelings.
The tough reality is that you’re sabotaging your weight loss efforts because of those feelings. In order to overcome sabotaging behaviours, you first have to look at what’s causing the behaviour in the first place – and that can get reallllllllly messy!
If you truly want to lose the weight and keep it off, you’ll have to face your fears.
Here are some of the fears that my clients have over and over again that keep them from losing the weight and keeping it off:
They’re afraid of being successful. This can look like a fear of outshining a family member or a fear of really showing up in life.
They’re afraid of failing. Everyone can relate to that! The embarrassment of trying to lose weight and not succeeding can feel overwhelming.
They’re afraid of not doing it perfectly. My friends, if you’re a perfectionist I have some bad news for you: you’ll never do it perfectly. None of us will ever do it perfectly. It’s just how life works.
These fears will manifest differently in everyone’s journey, but the important thing is that you’re able to identify them and really see them for what they are.
If you truly want to lose the weight and keep it off, you’ll have to face these fears. Otherwise, you’re in for many more years of fad diets, unsuccessful attempts at crash dieting, and more misery.
You’re NOT Alone!
69.5% of American women are overweight or obese. That tells me that self-sabotage isn’t something to shake a stick at; it’s a serious problem that many people deal with, so please don’t beat yourself up!
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