Chrystal's Journal
A week or so back someone reached out to me to see how I was doing. I replied that honestly, I was doing alright. By this time, I’d been isolating for more than a few weeks. I was over the initial shock and wallow. I realized by then that I couldn’t and probably shouldn’t continue to eat and drink the universal blow we’re all currently facing, or the now simmering existential dread I knew, away. In fact, those behaviors were probably adding to my anxiety.
I had begun doing things again. The weather was getting warmer, which allowed me to get lost in a few days of yard work and gardening. And while it’s true that I currently have no income, I do have credit so I was able to sign up for a few courses. I found some awesome free courses online too! I could submerge my brain in studying, work towards strengthening my weaknesses: I can use this time to become a better coach and a more coachable person. I explained to my friend that I was working through a strength training program that was better suited to my home gym even before Covid-19, so the transition out of the local gym was somewhat smooth – even if I do miss my gym mates. I was looking for the positives in each moment, within each day. And I was finding them.
She replied to my email exclaiming it was great to finally hear from someone who was happy, because no one she’d spoken to up until that point was even close to that. Everyone was miserable.
Happy?
Is that what I was? Is it what I am?
I’ve sat on this question for a while now and… Yes. I think it is.
So how did I get here? I don’t describe myself as happy on the most normal of days. In fact, before Covid I regularly saw a therapist to help cope with the depth of my internal darkness. I struggled hard with happiness.
How is it I’m finding happiness now when the world is seemingly falling apart? And can what I’m doing, help you too?
Maybe.
My isolation is not yours and what works for me may not work for you. Maybe some of the things I do can help you. Maybe you’ll find a little happiness in this. But maybe not. And if not, it’s ok not to be happy right now. Whatever you’re feeling is valid. It’s true to your experience. I encourage you to try some of these simple steps just in case though – because if there is something you can do to help make your own days better, you probably want to do it.
Here’s what I’m doing, and suggest you try:
- Keep your regular sleep/wake routine. Go to bed when you normally would and get up when you normally do. Now that you’ve got some extra time in the day, maybe have a few daytime naps too. Sleep is so very important to all aspects of our health: biological, emotional and mental – and the stress of this pandemic is exhausting.
- When you wake up, follow your regular morning routine. Shower and dress as you normally would – even if you have nowhere to go. Brush your hair, shave, get dressed and put on your make-up if that’s your norm, even if you have no one to see. Make yourself presentable to you. How you see yourself deeply affects how you feel about yourself and the rest of the world.
- Find gratitude. Every morning, as I’m drinking my first cup of coffee, I open up an app on my phone called ‘The 5 Minute Journal.’ It’s a daily journal that prompts me to record 3 things I’m grateful for. I try not to repeat myself. Every day I look for new things. A long time back I ran out of the easy or obvious ones like being thankful for my husband, or having a roof over my head and food in in belly. The question spills over, and is sprinkled throughout the day. You begin searching for things to be grateful for in all that you do. And when you look for something, you will usually find it. I’m thankful I’m not ill and don’t need to take up our precious medical resources right now. I’m thankful for the sun that keeps me warm. I’m thankful for the coffee that’s made for me every morning. I’m thankful that I am safe and in the comfort of my home. I’m thankful I have toilet paper and soap. I’m thankful for courier services. I’m thankful that I have a yard… There is true happiness in making this a habit. Try it yourself and see. You can use a regular pen and paper to keep a gratitude journal, but if you’d prefer it, you can find the 5-Minute Journal App here.
- On that note, one of the courses I took (am still taking actually – just one hour or so a week + daily homework) is about building habits for happiness. It’s a quality free course created by Yale and administered completely online via Coursera. It’s called The Science of Well-Being. It speaks to the science behind gratitude and other habits that build happiness. It’s fascinating AND can improve your quality of life – even during a pandemic. Find it here.
- Move your body. We are dynamic beings. We are not meant to be static. This doesn’t mean you need to start a brand new intensive exercise regime (unless you want to, of course). Just get a little movement into every day. Move at least as much as you did pre-Covid. If it feels good and you want to, you suddenly have the time: move a little bit more. Part of my daily routine before the pandemic was getting up and hitting the gym Monday through Friday at 6am. Initially in isolation, I let this slip for a bit. My home gym date got later and later in the day and before I knew it, it was dinnertime and I hadn’t moved much at all. Instead of working out, I hit the wine. I felt pretty shitty in general for a few days there. As closely as I can now, I follow my old routine. I get up and I come downstairs where I drink my coffee while I journal, read or write (as I’m doing right now). On weekdays at about 5:45ish, I get dressed and have a workout. When I’m done, I eat my breakfast and shower as I normally would. Suddenly – my days feel a whole lot more normal again. There is comfort in finding your routine – even if it’s changed a bit. Instead of getting ready for work after my shower, I water my garden and hit the books: it’s time to study, or work on professional development, or respond to emails, or cook, or clean. Which brings me to my last point:
- Set yourself a schedule and as best you can and stick to it. I plan my days now as if I were still working. In my calendar, I block of times to do specific things whether they be studying, working out, eating and showering, resting or napping (photo in header is proof of me and Devil-Kitten napping), reading, zoom meetings or virtual appointments, phone calls that I need to make, cooking or cleaning. I may not always stick to my calendar exactly, but scheduling time for things I want or need to do, means there’s much higher chance that I’ll keep myself busy, that I’ll do them instead of being distracted by mindless social media (which can be devastating for our mental health) or my own ruminating thoughts.
In addition to these 6 points there are lots of little things we can incorporate into our lives to try and make the best of this time for ourselves. I am constantly searching the things I can control to make each moment better. The things I can’t control, like whether or not C19 isolation is going to be long duration or short, I try not to waste energy on. There’s no point. I realized long ago that we can’t rewind the clocks. Time is our most valuable asset. I aim for ways to make the absolute best of every minute I have, because once gone I will never get these moments back. It’s in my best interest that I do what I can do, in order to make the best of my time.
If you’re looking for more self-care ideas, I came across this gem of a little list and shared it on my Aspect Health Facebook page last month: Self Care Ideas for Social Distancing
No matter where you’re at or what you’re feeling as we trudge on through these unusual times, take comfort in knowing that you’re not in it alone. We’re all doing the best we can with the tools we have, just trying to survive.
There will be an end to this. We will come out the other side. And I look forward to seeing you then.
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