I have big bones.

Diets don’t work for me.

Being overweight runs in my family.

I don’t have time to make healthy food.

Eating healthy is too expensive.

I’m too old to lose weight.

I don’t like to exercise.

I have a slow metabolism.

My meds make me gain weight.

I’m starting a diet next Sunday.

I have a thyroid problem.

I just love food.

It’s easy to make excuses and find ways to blame weight gain on someone or something else but the truth is: if you ate it, you own it. We all have outside factors that make an impact on our weight. Some people do have naturally thinner body types. Some people build muscle more easily. Some people are over fifty (wink, wink) and battling a slowing metabolism. But every one of us is in charge of how much we move and what we chew and swallow.

Repeat after me: I am a grownup and I am responsible for my own health and wellness, no excuses.

Blaming and complaining is an easy and convenient pattern of behaviour that will keep you from owning your health. Happily, you can change patterns and create new habits whenever you are ready. The first step is making a conscious decision to embrace yourself, as you are, right now. You are amazing in a thousand ways and every shining quality and every frustrating flaw is yours and only yours. Want some good news? That means as you transition from where you are now to a healthier, happier you, that success will be all yours too.

Take Inventory

A good way to begin letting go of the blame game is to take inventory of your health and eating habits. Think about how you eat and exercise. As you begin to acknowledge how you have been treating yourself you’ll probably be able to come up with a dozen ways you can do better. And as you own your actions, you will be able to let go of all the excuses you have used to deflect responsibility.

Bluntly, excuses keep you fat and unhealthy. Excuses are your enemy.

Release Your Attachment to the Weight

Something in you is holding onto the weight. In order to be your healthiest self, you are going to have to do the hard work of figuring out what is really preventing you from losing weight and moving forward. Poor sleep habits, nutrition, and emotional trauma are just some of the things that might be standing between you and good health. Figure out what is holding you back, so you can release it and begin making the progress you crave and deserve.

I know that some people have very real medical reasons for gaining weight. Some anti-depressants, for instance, can make weight loss hard. You take them to boost your mood. They make you gain weight and you wind up depressed about the way you look. Hormonal imbalances can wreak havoc on your weight. I know this first hand because I take one every day and have done so for more than 20 years now.  Hard is not impossible.  You are the type of person who can do hard things.

Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t allow outside forces to create a body you don’t want to live in. Even legitimate medical reasons for gaining weight can be attacked if you can figure out what the problem actually is and if you are willing to act to fight against it. As unfair as it may seem, getting healthy is harder for some people; you might be one of them. But there is a warrior in you that can do it if you are willing to own your choices and push through your challenges.

“Remember, you and you alone are responsible for maintaining your energy. Give up blaming, complaining and excuse-making, and keep taking action in the direction of your goals—however mundane or lofty they may be.” -Jack Canfield

Take Action

Finally, and most importantly, if you are ready to lose weight, you MUST take action. Thinking, planning and talking are all well and good but to make progress, you are going to need to DO some stuff. Improve your diet. Up your exercise. Organize your headspace. Make room in your life for the person you want to be. And remember, baby steps are perfectly acceptable. Whether you charge across the finish line or walk it, you still finish the race. It’s weird really. All the complaining and blaming feel like easy outs for letting yourself go.

In reality, though, the excuses just make it harder to be the person you want to be. I’ve always thought the best part of being a grown-up is that we get to decide where we go, what we do, and how we behave; we get to be responsible for our actions. Blaming and complaining is kid stuff. We’re past that. It’s time to own who we are and choose who we want to be. It’s time to love ourselves.